Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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