You're so nebulous sometimes
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
