it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize