remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
