well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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