This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
