apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
