You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
