I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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