I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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