i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
