I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
