I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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