Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
