was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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