so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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