she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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