She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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