how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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