Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
