Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
