I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
