I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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