His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
