Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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