It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
