I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
