is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
