hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize