it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
