Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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