More tranny stories later!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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