this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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