discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
