If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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