Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize