Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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