If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
