i permit you to call me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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