Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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