before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
