I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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