it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
