You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I supernannyed him into submission
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
