You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
