you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
