Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
