You work out of a Hotel?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
