You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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