He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
