I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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