How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so that wasnt chicken after all
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
