The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
