he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
