I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
we have pet lesbian snakes
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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