i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
