I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
